dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
