whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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