Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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