So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
