Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
