my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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