So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
