yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
