I have demons in me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
