Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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