you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
