I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
