How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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