i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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