So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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