she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
