i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
