do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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