I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
