I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
