the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
