ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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