Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
