I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
