He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
