He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
