I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
