you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
