Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
