Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
