I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
