For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
