Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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