I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
