i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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