Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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