Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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