I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
