we made out on top of his cat.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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