you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
