Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
