I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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