That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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