I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A bitchslap is in order.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
