Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
