So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
