Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
