she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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