found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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