found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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