We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
